me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
