You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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