"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Small penises have feelings too.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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