Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
