Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
