Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
