hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
