OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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