The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
