U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
