So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
