he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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