I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
