Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
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