Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
50% drunk capacity currently
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
