do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
