New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
