My liver just broke up with me...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
