there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
