you would pick up someone in the library
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
