She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
