Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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