We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
