dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
