does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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