I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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