it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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