no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
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