Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
