why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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