I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
