I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
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