So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
