so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
