I love having hate sex.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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