If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
