oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
