I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
