The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
