watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
