My first STD was from a foam party
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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