Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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