AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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