If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
