i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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