but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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