I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
