I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
