another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
