Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
