If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Randomize
