clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize