The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
