toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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