ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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