At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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