Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
