It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
BRING THE BAGELS
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
