His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
