I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
