My pussy is not your playground.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
