Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
