so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My feet surprised me
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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