so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
